How Anger Affects Your Life and How to Deal With it

How often do you find yourself getting angry about something? Is it just now and then or is it more like a constant status? The reason behind your anger is always justified or you think it is?

What is Anger?

Anger is a normal and in fact healthy human emotion. As an emotion anger exists to let us be aware of a threatening, an unjust or an upsetting situation. Anger should not be considered as either negative or positive emotion.

Getting angry when someone mistreats you or when something unjust takes place in front of your eyes is normal and healthy.

However, it is the frequency we experience anger, along with the way each one of us uses to express this anger that could turn it into something negative and harmful for ourselves or others.

angry man yelling while hitting his fist on table

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There is this common belief that anger should always be expressed. Some people think that it is their right to express anger in any way they like because in their mind their anger is justified.

There are people who might believe that expressing anger with shouting, breaking things or even by hitting others shows their power and rage and eventually will inspire respect to others.

The actual opposite is correct, meaning that expressing anger in such ways has a negative outcome for you and others. There is a negative impact on how others feel about you and also on how your judgement is affected.

Identify what is Causing Your Anger

I usually get angry when I understand that someone else does not listen to my opinion, suggestion or point of view and tend to ignore me or not take me seriously. I get angry when there is a long line in front of me in the supermarket or when I am stuck in a traffic jam.

cars stuck in traffic jam in city road

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Sometimes when I am really tired or stressed I might find it really easy to get angry over nothing. I think this stands for most people.

It is really important to identify where the anger comes from because most of the time losing your temper or acting in rage has nothing to do with other people’s behavior and words or with external circumstances. It is our fault that we do not manage to stay cool and keep ourselves under control.

Look For Possible Solutions

Understanding what makes me angry in my case means that I can change my daily routine, choosing another route or different time to avoid traffic jams in peak hours. It could mean that I decide to take advantage and enjoy my time stucked in traffic through listening to some audio book, learning a foreign language or just listening to music and singing along.

When it comes to supermarkets I could choose a supermarket with less people or try to shop online.

When it comes to specific people that make me angry I could choose to take some time to discuss with them in a calm way the impact their reactions have on me. They might also have their issues and use this kind of behavior as a defense mechanism. Well, if this does not work I could choose to share less with them or avoid seeing them that often.

If none of the above are enough I could look for and practice some anger management techniques or seek professional help and advice.

man and woman having a fight, both looking angry

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The reason why we should all look for solutions is because anger as an emotion will not be able to fix anything. As a matter of fact feeling angry and expressing it in a bad way usually will only make things worse.  

Is Anger Your Enemy or a Friend?

In case you are witnessing a human or an animal rights violation and you get angry about it, expressing your anger and using it to change the situation in front of you, means that you use your anger to take action for a good reason.

When you are in an abusive relationship and get angry with what you are going through, anger will help you to take action and get out of it. Same stands for any toxic friendship, getting angry with the friend who mistreats you or makes you feel bad about yourself will give you the courage to step out of this friendship.

In all the cases above anger is your friend because it gives you the courage and strength you need to change an unhealthy situation.

woman screaming to express her anger

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However, when your anger makes your loved ones suffer and feel distress it means that your anger is harmful for your relationships. If you find yourself regretting things that you have said or done while being angry this is also a sign that your anger is working against you. These are cases where your anger is your enemy and you should take some action in order to control it.

Identify Anger Warning Signs

Have you ever noticed your body’s physical reactions when you get angry? I don’t mean when you have already started expressing that anger in some way, but those few moments before you act.

Speaking for myself, when I start getting angry I am feeling an intense pain in my head and I am feeling like my head is burning. I start breathing faster and deeper. Other signs might be a faster heartbeat and clenched fists.

When these signs appear and you are able to identify them, you could do something about it to prevent yourself from words or actions that you might regret later. It is important to be able to understand how you feel each moment because it helps to identify any warning signs.

“Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.”

Leo Buscaglia

Anger Effects

Human Relationships

Anger expression in unhealthy ways could be harmful for every human relationship. It could leave physical and mental scars to the people around us who we love most. It could destroy love relationships, friendships or work relationships.

Physical Health

If anger is something we experience regularly it is possible to give us heart related problems, high blood pressure, weak immune system, diabetes and insomnia.

Mental Health

Feeling anger all the time does not allow people to feel joy in life. Anger could also cause stress, depression and other mental health issues.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Mark Twain

Conclusion

When we come to the point to realize that our anger is a problem for us and the people around us we are not helpless. There are several anger management techniques that could be used to calm the rage, and even if these don’t work, professional help from an expert could be taken.

Truth is that we all have more control over anger than what we might think we have. There are always alternatives in the ways we can express our emotions, without hurting other people’s feelings, damaging things or creating problems to our own physical and mental health.

“The best fighter is never angry.”

Lao Tzu

Helpful links

Additional information about anger as well as anger management techniques and strategies could be found at the following links:

https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-control-anger#1

https://www.verywellmind.com/anger-management-strategies-4178870

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/anger-management.htm

 

Why Commitment Sets You Free

Do you believe that commitment means that you lose part of your freedom? That you will never be free enough to explore your options to the fullest? That you somehow will be limited to live your life in a specific place, doing one job, spending the rest of your life with one person only etc.?

Well I used to think about commitment the exact same way.  I always preferred to think of myself as a free bird, able to live wherever I wanted to, doing whatever I wish, be with whoever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. I was terrified even at the sound of the word commitment.

While, yes, signing a contract is an obligatory type of commitment, the reason that stands behind this is not. While marriage is a formal declaration of your commitment to one person, the reason you are getting married isn’t.

If what you feel about commitment is that it will make you lose a part of your freedom I think it means that in some way you are committed to the idea of freedom that has been created inside your head.

While growing older, what I realized is that commitment does not necessarily mean to sign a contract or to get married. Commitment is something much bigger, can be found in many aspects of our life and can set us free in so many ways.

1. Commitment to a Bigger Purpose

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To commit yourself to a bigger purpose is what can help you make your dreams come true. Commitment in this case is the fuel that makes you keep going no matter what. It is the dedication of yourself and your energy to something bigger.

Commitment is what is behind every Olympic champion, every great scientist or every great artist. In this case commitment is what can set your mind free to dream the impossible and make it happen.

“Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.”

Albert Einstein

2. Commitment to a Person

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Commitment to one person could be terrifying thinking that you dedicate yourself to one person only. But if this one feels like the one for you, why would that be a bad thing?

Having found a person that feels right for you and making the decision to commit does not mean that you lose all those you have not met yet. It means that you set yourself free to explore yourself along with the person of your choice.

“True love – that is, deep, abiding love that is impervious to emotional whims or fancy – is a choice. It’s a constant commitment to a person regardless of the present circumstances”

Mark Manson

3. Commitment to a Job

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During our life most of us go through several different jobs from package delivery boy / girl to office employees or freelancers.  Most of us can perform well in different kinds of jobs, all of which offer us something.

Commitment to a job that offers some money can offer financial help to pay our rent and bills, to a job that offers much more money can offer us financial freedom to do whatever else we like, even if it means just wasting money. Financial freedom could mean anything.

Commitment to a freelance job means that you commit to your choice of being free to choose the jobs you decide to do, meaning that from that point on you would be the absolute responsible for your working life. No boss to put the blame on.

4. Commitment to a Choice

Sometimes the exploration of different choices could turn out to be an exhausting research of the extraordinary. There comes a point when a specific choice is enough.

We might proceed and check what else is out there that might be waiting for us but yet we do know what we want. In this case ignoring what we feel and know is the right thing for us for the sake of exploration could be one of the stupidest things to do.

5. Commitment to a Place

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You might feel the need to travel and live in different places of this world, and this is great because understanding different cultures and civilizations is something priceless that helps our mind think under different aspects.

However, at some point you might decide to drop your anchor in one specific port. To make a decision to live your life in one specific place can set you free to explore everything this place has to offer, everything you can offer to this place and even more.

Conclusion

Generally, commitment is not something that we are forced to do. To commit to something or someone means that you make a choice and the reason behind this choice is usually our desire to give depth to our choice and to set ourselves free in some way.

Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business or a hobby

Neil Strauss

How about you?

How do you feel about commitment?

Full Moon

The words are blurred. They are lost.
Eyes are getting older. They are blinded.

Our wrinkled faces
Are mirrored in front of us.

Desires that were not fulfilled
Touch feelings that were hurt.

We move forward holding sticks.
You walk beside me. We both wrestle.

Sun is getting dark. It’s getting late.
Full moon tonight
Υour pale face resembles

How to Identify Whether You Have Adopted a Victim Mentality and How to Stop Being the Victim

When something bad happens to you do you always think that it is someone else’s fault? Do you feel like no matter what you do you have no control over what is happening to you? Do you usually blame others or your bad fortune for every negative thing that happens?

From time to time we may all act like drama queens, feeling like the whole world is against us, seeking for attention and sympathy. However, there are some people that seem to adopt this kind of behavior and mentality permanently.

I recently found out that there is a term to describe this kind of mentality which is called the “Victim mentality”.

“Victim Mentality. Some choose to believe that there is nothing they can do to solve their problems, even when they in fact could. Victims seek to blame others for their problems or blame outside circumstances.”

Mark Manson

What is the Victim Mentality?

Woman almost crying while making negative thoughts
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This term is not officially accepted as a medical term and actually most health professionals even avoid the use of it due to the stigma surrounding it. However, there are specific beliefs that people with victim mentality share and all of them are related to negative thinking:

1.       Lots of bad things happened to you in the past and lots of bad things will also happen to you in the future.

2.       Your bad fortune is a result of other people’s actions.

3.       Trying to change your fortune is worthless since nothing will finally change.

Negativity is so much easier to people with a victim mentality than trying to actually take action to save themselves.

Experts claim that the root of this mindset is in many cases an old trauma experienced at the hands of others. People who have experienced something similar are instinctively taught that they are helpless and unable to change something through their actions.

They tend to feel vulnerable and afraid. They don’t take on responsibility, instead, they blame others and refuse to take action while they prefer making excuses.

“I have no physical symptoms, but psychologically there’s this burden. I’ve got to get rid of it somehow. Of course, when I first went back to work I was scared the same thing might happen again. It takes positive thinking to overcome fear, otherwise you’ll carry around this victim mentality forever.”

Haruki Murakami

Benefits of Adopting a Victim Mentality

A woman is holding another woman's hands while trying to show her sympathy and support
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It seems that some people who get by as “victims” are not willing to do anything in order to change even if they realize that other people around them are getting tired or annoyed by their constantly negative behavior. This happens because it seems that there are some benefits when somebody adopts the role of the “victim”.

1.       You are not accountable for your life: You take no responsibility for what happens in your life. Your life is the result of others’ people choices and actions and there is nothing you can do about it.

2.       Secondary benefits: “Victims” receive attention and sympathy from other people. In some cases they may also receive medication or funds. People who receive these benefits may not even realize it and keep feeling truly distressed.

3.       Satisfaction of unconscious needs: When you have a victim mentality you are in unconscious need of other peoples’ help, while you also seek for their validation. You play the “poor me” card which results in help and sympathy from others.

4.        No risks: Everything is other people’s fault so there is no need to actually take risks and be vulnerable.

How to Identify Whether You Have Adopted a Victim Mentality

As stated above it is absolutely normal to feel dissatisfied from your life from time to time and to seek other people’s attention and help. However, this is totally different from having adopted a victim mentality.

This is a list of signs that indicate that you might have adopted a victim mentality:

·         You believe that your life is against you

·         Your life is this way due to other people’s choices and actions

·         You cannot deal with the problems of your life and feel that you have no power against them

·         You have adopted a negative attitude and feel like your life is stuck while you can do nothing to change that.

·         You somehow even feel relieved and pleased when you feel bad and sorry about yourself

·         When somebody says an opinion about your behavior, even if it is an honest feedback you feel like you are under attack.

·         The people you attract are those with similar beliefs and attitudes towards life. They are those who complain about their lives and blame others.

·         It is hard for you to examine your life, make decisions and changes.

“I was a redhead and a middle child; both can make you feel excluded. It’s like fighting to be included, in the swim of things. After a while you start to develop a bit of a victim mentality, which isn’t great for a happy life.”

Shirley Manson

What Can You Do to Stop Being The Victim?

A woman is thinking her next chess move
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What experts say on the issue is that the victim mentality is not something you are born with but instead it is a learned behavior. People learn to adopt a victim mentality through their social life and family. It could also most commonly be a result of a trauma.

There are some steps that could be followed in order to overcome the adoption of the victim mentality.

1.       Learn to be responsible: Take responsibility for your choices and actions. Of course you can never control others but your reaction to their choices and actions is still your choice. You are the person responsible for your life and her potential and nobody else.

2.       Practice compassion and self-care: The victim mentality is in many cases adopted subconsciously after a trauma in order to cope with it. Be compassionate with yourself and practice self-care and self-love while trying to recover. Use journalism to better understand your feelings.

3.       Say No: Learn to prioritize yourself and your needs. When you feel like you don’t want to do something it is totally ok to say no even if others feel like you’re letting them down.

4.       Learn more about the victim mentality: If you identified the signs pointed above across different areas of your life, you might consider learning more about it and how it affects your life. This could be done through reading articles or books or you may even consider seeking therapy. Educating yourself about the victim mentality will help you recover and prevent you from returning to the old way of thinking.

“Defeat is a state of mind; No one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality.”

Bruce Lee

Have you identified any of the signs on yourself?

Have you met others with victim mentality?

References – Resources

Further information about the victim mentality could be found at the following links:

1.    https://www.healthline.com/health/victim-mentality

2.    https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-victim-mentality-5120615

3.   https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-a-victim-mentality

4.   https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/managing-victim-mentality.htm

What is Happiness and Will I Ever Reach it?

How pleased are you out of your life? If you were asked, would you answer “very pleased” without even hesitating a bit?

Honestly, I spent many years of my life without even being able to understand that I was not pleased with what my life was like. I guess the everyday routine took me with her and I did not even have the time to stand still and think.

The “Dream Job”

A woman presenting her work on a laptop screen
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For the last thirteen years I had been working as a business consultant. It started as a nine to five job with great career and financial prospects. I never felt really enthusiastic about it but, hey, the money was good and clients appreciated my work, so it felt like a reward.

Friends and family were happy and proud of me and my career in this “dream job” as it might seem like in their eyes. Finally, I could rent a bigger apartment in a nice neighborhood, I had enough money to travel and no need to have second thoughts if I liked something and wanted to buy it.

I guess you would say that that was great. And yes, I definitely liked the fact that I finally could live without thinking of my finances every single moment. That I finally could live in an apartment that I like, that I could travel and shop whenever I wanted to.

But I just couldn’t do it whenever I wanted to.

When the “Dream Job” Turned Into Nightmare…

A woman exhausted fell asleep on her desk while working
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The nine to five job schedule very soon became nine to whatever time the job is done. Considering the fact that most of the clients I was working for were situated at least one hour driving away from home, that also extended my working schedule.

And the deadlines, oh the deadlines…. So much stress and pressure because we had to stick with the project plan and deliver on time.

So, I had a job that offered me financial security and the prospect of a better life.

But, I was renting a great apartment which I was actually using as a hotel since I would use it only to have a shower and get some sleep. I could travel, yes, and I would travel every time I had the chance. And this is something that I loved and I am grateful about.

The thing is that I constantly had the need to travel because I needed it as an escape out of the life I was living. I would shop and spend money not because I needed the staff I was buying but because I could.

And then bam!

The Coronavirus

coronavirus
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Coronavirus arrived and changed everything worldwide.

To all of us it was and in some aspects still is a shock. But the greatest change it brought to my life was that I stopped traveling and started working from home. Everything related to work was set up in just a few hours so the transition was quite fast and sudden.

There was no need to drive to the other side of the city, not even need to take off my pajamas in order to work. I found it as a great chance to finally enjoy my apartment and get some “me” time.

The isolation that came along with the lock down to me was not that horrible as it was to others. I have always enjoyed solitude and having such a busy schedule as I used to have did not offer me enough time to recharge myself.

Time to Stand Still and Look Inside

A woman is standing still like a statue among statues
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It was at that time that I found the time to stand still and think about myself, my life, my needs and feelings.

Another thing that I did not mention, for which I am really grateful since my job financially allowed me to take it, was a Master’s Degree in Creative Writing. I had really studied hard due to lack of time but by the time Coronavirus arrived I had already finished all my lessons and there was only my master thesis that I had to submit.

If it wasn’t for Coronavirus and the lockdown work from home status I don’t know if I could have ever made it on time and submitted my master thesis. While spending my time equally to work and studying during the first lockdown I realized even more how fulfilling writing is to me.

Time to Blog

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Even after the lock down had finished I never got back to the office, I kept on working from home. It was at some point during last March that I felt like I needed to communicate my writing with others and thought of starting a blog.

I had tried it again in the past but quit within days. I never stick to it long enough to understand whether I liked it or not. This time was different. As I said above I needed to communicate my writing. When you understand that you do something because not only you just like it but also because you feel that you need it, you do it under totally different terms.

Of course the job did not become less demanding, tiring or stressful just because I was working from home. But something had changed. Even if I felt exhausted I would still sit on my laptop for a few hours after work trying to find out how blogging works, write a post etc.

It was something new. It was engaging and it was related to what I love most, writing. I would spend hours trying to figure out things but the amazing thing was that I would not feel like getting tired.

I read about bloggers that manage to make a great income out of their posts and I honestly admire them. I hope I will be as good as them one day!

I know I know…. I have a million things to learn and should work really hard to get there.

The Decision For Change

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My job went crazy the last few months. There was a point that I felt like I was ready to collapse due to stress and too much pressure, so I decided to resign. After all, it was not like I ever really liked the life I was living the last 13 years of my life. I am grateful for all the things it allowed me to do and have but no, I cannot recall even a single moment that I felt happy in it.

I am also grateful about some people I had the chance to meet but I strongly believe that you never really lose those you care about. So I am not sad about it. I will be in touch with them. Not every day in touch because I have to but now and then in touch because I want to.

I don’t know what I will be doing from now on. I will definitely be blogging more because every day I realize how much I like it. Apart from that, whatever happens I decided that I will not let myself be carried away again by any routine. I will be sitting still and listen to myself and its needs.

Time is precious to be wasted in things that don’t offer us any joy at all.

“Happiness is a constant work-in-progress, because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress – the solutions to today’s problems will lay the foundation for tomorrow’s problems, and so on. True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.”

Mark Manson

What is the right decision and how to be sure you make one

Was there a time you had to make a decision which, at least at the time you had to make it, seemed as if it was a matter of life and death?

How to identify the right decision

You thought about all the alternatives and tried to figure out which choice would be the best one. You even made scenarios of what the outcome might be short term and long term.

That is something that is always stressful and I think is always doomed to failure.

We usually try to collect all information available, we ask for other people’s experiences and opinions. What would our friends and loved ones do if they had to take this specific decision?

And then what?

Is there anyone who can reassure us that this is the right choice for us? And after all, what does the right choice mean?

Usually, most of us are carried away by what other people usually do in similar circumstances, by what other people advise us, by what we think that other people will think about us once we make a specific decision.

But, I think that if you ask the same question to 100 different persons there is a good chance you get lots of different answers and then it gets even more confusing.

What did each one of them have in mind when giving a specific answer? What were the experiences they had that led to this answer? What was the emotional status at the moment the answer was provided?

Truth be told. Nobody, but nobody, can really help us in taking the right decision.

Each one of us is so special and different. And that is good. It is great actually!

Even if we try our best to make sure we have collected all the data available that would probably help us in making the best possible choice, we can never be absolutely sure that this was it.

Honestly, how much could we ever know about something that has not yet happened to us? About something we have not yet experienced?

Right. Nothing!

“When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider all the pros and cons”. Sigmund Freud

The meaning of feelings and decisions

There is only one thing we can tell for sure related to feelings and decisions and that is how we feel the moment we finally make that decision.

Happy? Relieved? Excited? Frightened? Anxious? Terrified?

All the above and even more are possible post decision making feelings and usually more than one of them simultaneously. Do they indicate whether the decision was right or wrong? I would say not necessarily.  

They indicate exactly what they are and nothing more. Our feelings the moment we made the specific decision. Whether the decision was right or wrong is something that only time can tell for sure.

Embrace your choices

Whatever the choice made, what we have to do is embrace our choice and move on as if we are absolutely sure that this choice was the best. Because it was the best at the specific moment.  No need to question the choice. This would only cause unnecessary suffering and fear.

The important thing is to make a choice. A choice that could save your life, change your life, change you and your relationships with others.

Our life becomes what we make it, through the choices we make each and every day of our life. Even the smallest ones can lead us somewhere we have never imagined.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” Theodore Roosevelt

“If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you’ll find you’ve done it”. George Bernard Shaw

What about you? What are your thoughts about the decision making process?

Believe

Didn’t know whether I believed

Eyes were flooded with dark

Unaware of everything

Felt helpless

Alone

Questioning everything

Why did you

Chose me for this harsh punishment?

I owed what and to whom and I had to pay?

No fear

Feel light and free

Darkness is transformed into light that blinds me

The voices fell silent

Soul in peace

I follow the light

You know why you are taking me with you.

I’m silent, I believe…

Why being sensitive is not that bad after all

First of all, what do we mean when we say that a person is sensitive? A person called sensitive is strongly affected by what he / she experiences. Recent researches have shown that everyone is more or less sensitive and separated people into three different groups depending on how sensitive one person is. These groups are low, medium, or high and were labelled as dandelions, tulips, and orchids.

For more information related to sensitivity research you may visit https://sensitivityresearch.com/research-on-sensitivity-past-present-and-future/

A highly sensitive person, like me, who has to deal with the brutal reality which has to keep me busy all day long, attend meetings, phone calls,  keep up with numbers, constantly try to prove my value etc. can be easily overwhelmed. 

Quite often my friends and family advise me to stop being that sensitive, to grow up, to become stronger. As if being sensitive is a malfunction or problem.

Honestly, in this society we all live in, we are taught to be fast and efficient in whatever we do. We must be productive and in most cases being sensitive is not considered an asset.

However, I believe my sensitivity and feelings are there every time for a reason. I know that I am able to sense and understand things that other people cannot. They call this intuition. I call it the ability to sense that something is wrong or needs attention. Ability to understand that another human no matter what he says he is not ok.

Ever since I remember myself I could be happily laughing one moment and burst into tears just minutes afterwards even at the sight and only of an injured animal, of an old lady that could not walk by herself, of a child begging for money.

Growing older and having to work for big companies like banks made things worse. I could feel that I was so much different than the others. I usually felt out of place and I would just try to hide myself as much as possible, try to do what I could and just wait for another day to end.

Truth is that when something was not ok I could sense it. If one of my colleagues had a problem or was not feeling ok I could understand it just by taking a look at his face, his expressions or even via phone by the sound of his voice.

I could even understand if there was a problem between some of my coworkers,  what was the new manager‘s opinion about each one of the personnel or if there was some kind of problem with the processes and status of a project. All these just by paying attention to other humans, their expressions and reactions.

How did my colleagues react to this ability of mine? They would call me strange, irrational or would think that I am overreacting in some cases. And to some point they were right because I know that it was hard for them to understand what I was trying to tell them at the time.

For me being in such a position was  disappointing. I have spent most of my life wishing I were different, less sensitive, and less emotional. I just wanted to be harder and crueler in a way. Not being affected by others words, opinions, emotions or expressions.

Lots of people of course had thanked me during my life for being there for them when needed someone to understand, to offer them compassion and kindness. This is of major importance but for some reason seemed not to matter that much compared to my pain and suffering through all those years.

Seemed that my gain compared to what I was losing was meaningless. People continued to underestimate me, doubt me and overlook me. I kept on for years being nothing more than one productive unit which was actually not working as well as others.

Feeling like this made me start trying to develop myself, to try to make myself a bit harder. The thing is that along the way I found out that what I thought was my biggest problem I found out that could prove to be a huge asset if used and not tried to bury it.

Let me point out what I think are the biggest assets of sensitivity.

4 reasons why being sensitive is an advantage

1. You are aware of yourself, your needs and feelings.

Having a deep understanding of who you are and how you are each time of the day is what makes you able to understand what is good and what is bad for you. Being sensitive enough to understand what another person might be going through sets you able to correspond accordingly, taking his feelings into account.

2. You can feel and share compassion

As pointed above compassion provides that someone can be able to understand someone else’s feelings. While living in a cruel and selfish world I consider compassion a strength that could prove to be super power.

3. You can sense when something is wrong

You have the ability to sense things that other people don’t. You are able to catch the vibes, read the faces and expressions, and translate what one says not only by his words but also by the pace, tone and sound of his voice.

4. You can use your sensitivity to be creative

Artists are well known for their sensitivity and their ability to sense emotions. Artists are also well known for their ability to set their emotions on fire with their creations.

For those who read my blog you also know that apart from articles I also share some short stories and poetry. How could I possibly be writing about other people, my heroes, if I were incapable of being in their shoes, thinking their thoughts and feeling their emotions? How could I be writing for other people without being able to inspire them with my heroes’ emotions and thoughts?

“The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To them… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create— so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off… They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency they are not really alive unless they are creating.” Pearl Buck,The Good Earth

How do you feel about your sensitivity?

Have you embraced it or trying to fight it?

How to find the positive aspect of the worst situation

Isn’t it strange how everything seems to change from time to time? Ok, it doesn’t happen everyday. What would the point be in this case? but there are certain periods of our life when we make one single decision to change something that magically drifts everything else along the way.

Maybe it is a universal necessity or something like that. I don’t know. Is it easy or pleasant when it happens? So far I have to say it isn’t.

Let me be more specific cause I don’t know if I make any sense to you so far. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, recently I resigned from my job after working there for the last 12 years of my life. It was one single big decision that I felt I had to make.

After that, in order to complete all the necessary paperwork since I have been working from home for the last year and a half I had to get back to my city apartment. That is what I did. However, when I finally got here, I had an unpleasant surprise. Somebody had broken into my apartment while I was away and everything was a total mess. 

Lots of things were missing but that was not my biggest problem. That sense of my personal space having been violated was the worst. I had to make my apartment mine again. All my clothes, shoes, contents of the wardrobe and drawers were everywhere. All my books and notes were all over the place. I honestly spent days just throwing everything in garbage bags and placing them out on the balcony. I had to clean everything and throw away lots of my stuff.

It has been more than a week now and only the last two days I managed to get some sleep. I was in such a tense thinking that somebody could enter while I would be sleeping that I just could not relax.

However, these last days that I have been checking all my clothes, shoes and other stuff I have realized that lots of them I hadn’t actually used in years. I had just stacked them somewhere out of my site and forgot they even existed.

In this awful way I realized that I was keeping lots of things I did not need. My apartment is not that big so it was a good idea to get rid of everything useless. I never had the time to do so, so far though.  

Even if it was a really bad experience that I wish I hadn’t gone through, I must say that my place is now cleaner than ever and by letting go of everything I don’t need I have made some extra space for all those that I do need.

Lots of other things have changed so far also but I will not write about them now. At this time of my life I feel like a computer which at some point got stuck and needed a restart to become functional again. This is what I am going through, a restart.

Could it be true that everything, no matter if it is good or bad, happens for a reason and happens when it has to happen? I would like to know your thoughts on this.

But over the years, I’ve learned not to believe too much in luck or accidents; I think everything happens for a reason. There’s something to be learned from every moment, every experience we encounter during the brief time we spend on this planet. Call it fate, call it destiny, call it what you will; it really doesn’t matter“. Syd Field

Who is to blame?

We are all to blame

Me and you,

and everyone

believes he is not responsible.

Looking away

The fire does not go out.

The drowned is not saved

 by pulling his own hair.

I tolerated them 

stepping on my back.

 I was voluntarily blind,

lying to myself.

We were all drugged.

It is time to wake up,

to collect

our scattered pieces