How to find the positive aspect of the worst situation

Isn’t it strange how everything seems to change from time to time? Ok, it doesn’t happen everyday. What would the point be in this case? but there are certain periods of our life when we make one single decision to change something that magically drifts everything else along the way.

Maybe it is a universal necessity or something like that. I don’t know. Is it easy or pleasant when it happens? So far I have to say it isn’t.

Let me be more specific cause I don’t know if I make any sense to you so far. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, recently I resigned from my job after working there for the last 12 years of my life. It was one single big decision that I felt I had to make.

After that, in order to complete all the necessary paperwork since I have been working from home for the last year and a half I had to get back to my city apartment. That is what I did. However, when I finally got here, I had an unpleasant surprise. Somebody had broken into my apartment while I was away and everything was a total mess. 

Lots of things were missing but that was not my biggest problem. That sense of my personal space having been violated was the worst. I had to make my apartment mine again. All my clothes, shoes, contents of the wardrobe and drawers were everywhere. All my books and notes were all over the place. I honestly spent days just throwing everything in garbage bags and placing them out on the balcony. I had to clean everything and throw away lots of my stuff.

It has been more than a week now and only the last two days I managed to get some sleep. I was in such a tense thinking that somebody could enter while I would be sleeping that I just could not relax.

However, these last days that I have been checking all my clothes, shoes and other stuff I have realized that lots of them I hadn’t actually used in years. I had just stacked them somewhere out of my site and forgot they even existed.

In this awful way I realized that I was keeping lots of things I did not need. My apartment is not that big so it was a good idea to get rid of everything useless. I never had the time to do so, so far though.  

Even if it was a really bad experience that I wish I hadn’t gone through, I must say that my place is now cleaner than ever and by letting go of everything I don’t need I have made some extra space for all those that I do need.

Lots of other things have changed so far also but I will not write about them now. At this time of my life I feel like a computer which at some point got stuck and needed a restart to become functional again. This is what I am going through, a restart.

Could it be true that everything, no matter if it is good or bad, happens for a reason and happens when it has to happen? I would like to know your thoughts on this.

But over the years, I’ve learned not to believe too much in luck or accidents; I think everything happens for a reason. There’s something to be learned from every moment, every experience we encounter during the brief time we spend on this planet. Call it fate, call it destiny, call it what you will; it really doesn’t matter“. Syd Field

Faded image

The look you had is always in my thoughts.

The one you had that last night.

I did not know it was the last.

You hugged me so tight,

A bit tighter would break me.

You knew.

You would not see me again.

You said nothing.

For a minute only,

You just looked deep in my eyes.

Your eyes open wide while looking at mine

I was diving deep inside your mind.

No.

I was drowning inside your head.

Getting lost forever,

A faded image of your mind

I couldn’t stand that look.

I tried to lower your head.

I didn’t want your look on me anymore.

You didn’t like it.

No, not like this.

You knew.

Lowered your head and left

almost running

away from me…