Do you find it difficult to let go? Does it feel to you it is more like not fighting anymore? Although sometimes it might be the case, some others letting go is the only healthy choice. And to do so, you must be ready to start exploring the art of letting go.
There was a time in my life when I thought that walking away from something or not fighting for it anymore was the same as deciding to quit. I thought I would be a loser if I did so. Instead, I would just stay there and keep on fighting until making it happen.
I had adopted this kind of mentality for almost every aspect of my life. If I felt bad working on something I did not enjoy, I would suppress myself to get things done. After all in life, we do not only what we enjoy doing. We more often do things just because we have to.
I would also hold on to relationships, either romantic or friendly, with people I did not feel a connection with anymore just because I thought I had invested too much and letting go would just be too easy.
After hitting many walls, I understood that sometimes letting go is the best possible choice a person could make in life. Thus, exploring the art of letting go is so important.
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Table of Contents
- Why is Letting Go Difficult?
- How to Start Exploring the Art of Letting Go
- Final Thoughts on Exploring the Art of Letting Go
Why is Letting Go Difficult?
1. Holding on Becomes a Habit
All we humans are creatures living in our habits. Most of the time we understand that something is not the best for us, but yet we keep on staying because it is all we know. We get used to everything, even if everything is equal to feeling miserable in a workplace, in a relationship, in a city, or in a certain lifestyle.
Read also: Why Complaining is Harmful and 4 Healthy Alternatives
2. Denial to Admit the Situation
We might have invested much of our time and energy in something or someone and we just deny admitting to ourselves that it or him/her should not be in our lives anymore. Deep inside, we know how damaging it is to insist on holding on, yet we lack the courage needed to decide and change something.
Read also: 8 Useful Tips to Gain the Power of Building Consistency
3. Letting Go is Painful
Letting go of something that we were holding on to for a long time is never easy. Usually, it comes with lots of pain, sadness, and fear of the unknown. Just before we decide to move forward, we get terrified and question ourselves, our judgment, and our abilities.
Read also: How to Stop The Need to Control Everything
How to Start Exploring the Art of Letting Go
1. Decide to Let Go
The most important step is to decide that the time has come when you must let go of something or someone. The reasons I mentioned above are mostly those that stand between you and your decision to let go.
I would suggest that you pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and maybe set yourself some kind of limit. The limit could be that if you keep on feeling this bad more often within the next 2 months, you will leave.
Just have an honest conversation with yourself and explore how everything makes you feel. Understand whether what you get from holding on is really what you need. Is it really that important?
Read also: Making the Right Decision? How to Be Sure About it.
2. Letting Go is not Quitting
When you decide to let go, you decide you are no longer willing to waste time, effort, and energy on something or someone. Quitting means you are not capable of doing something anymore, which is something much different.
You should always fight for things and people that are important, but you should also acknowledge when holding on is harmful to you.
Read also: How to Be Happy with Yourself and Feel Happy Alone
3. Letting Go is not Wrong
When you question your decision to let go of something or someone that no longer feels right, you probably feel that you are about to do something wrong. You might even feel like the only person you are thinking of is yourself. And maybe you are. But it does not mean you are being selfish.
Taking care of yourself and finding the courage to decide what is best for you and what is not is, in fact, brave. Even though you may feel you are doing something wrong, deciding to let go is sometimes the only right thing you can do.
Read also: 7 Major Reasons Mistakes and Failures Can’t Define You
4. Other People’s Opinions Do not Matter
Other people are not in your shoes. Even though they might have good intentions and want to help and support you, they do not live your life, so they cannot feel what you feel and think of your thoughts. If you feel like letting go of something is the right thing to do, nobody else’s opinion matters.
Lots of people will probably try to talk you out of your decision and they will most probably do so because they are themselves afraid. It is their fears talking the most and not their interest. Do not allow the weight of their opinion to hold you back.
Read also: What Nobody Tells You About Life – 20 Facts to Know
5. Nothing Will Change
Holding on to something that does not feel right for too long while hoping that things might change is an illusion. You are smart enough to understand that sometimes either you accept how things are and continue living with them, or you do not and just leave. It is worthless to stay hoping that one day he/she will change. They won’t.
Read also: 4 Approaches to Show How to Find Beauty in Imperfection
6. Ups and Downs are Part of Life
Deciding to let go is painful. It is hard to separate yourself from something or someone who was part of your life. Pain, suffering, and sadness are all part of life and you will experience them no matter how hard you try to avoid hard decisions.
Remember that to reach the point of deciding that you have to let something or someone go, you already experienced negative feelings and thoughts. Acknowledge the fact that the pain that follows the decision to let go is a vital process in your journey. This too shall pass and brighter days will follow.
Read also: This is How Slow Living Benefits Your Life
7. Fear Does Not Kill
The fear of what will happen next or who you are going to be after letting go of something or someone should not prevent you from doing it. Fear is what we feel when we try to preserve ourselves. It might take more energy to hold on to something harmful than it is to move on.
Acknowledge your fears and start questioning them. What is this thing that frightens you more and why?
Read also: How to Overcome Your Fears Through Daring Choices
8. Just Let Go
If you decide you have to let go, just do so. It will be scary, there will be times when you will be terrified, but it is worth it. By holding on to something that has ended or does not feel right, all you do is resist.
Letting go means you open up yourself to new possibilities and new experiences. Just let go.
Read also: 15 Things That Waste Our Time Without Realizing it
9. Remember Words and Feelings
The decision to let go usually comes after having tried to change something. But it never happened. Remember the words you heard during hard conversations and remember the feelings that were evoked inside you.
These are the ones your mind should return to every time you question your decision to let go.
Read also: What to Do When You Need Inspiration – My Top Tips
10. Express Feelings
Letting go is hard. If it feels like you want to cry, then cry. Do you think you want to talk to someone? Then do so. If you feel you want to write, then write. Whatever you think you need to do to express what you feel inside, you just go on and do it.
Final Thoughts on Exploring the Art of Letting Go
Letting go is never easy, but sometimes it is your only option if you value yourself enough to go for what is best for you. The hardest part is to decide to let go and then understand that you are not doing something wrong.
Letting go does not mean you are defeated or that you do not want to fight anymore. You need to start exploring the art of letting go because sometimes letting go means just that you understand some battles are just not worth taking.
Relevant Readings on Exploring the Art of Letting Go
The Art of Letting GO: How to Let Go of the Past, Look Forward to the Future, and Finally Enjoy the Emotional Freedom You Deserve! (The Art Of Living Well) by Damon Zahariades
This Is Me Letting You Go by Heidi Priebe
The Art of Letting Go Thought Catalog
What about you? How do you feel when you need to let go?
I would love to read your thoughts in the comments below.
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Thank you for sharing this insightful post. We see letting go as a vital piece of change. People don’t like change, which in turn makes it harder to let go of things we need to let go of. But recognizing that you need a change will make letting go easier. Great post. Also, check out our latest blog posts!
You shared some great tips about letting. I read a book a few years ago called The Art Of Letting Go. The boos shared some of the same tips you highlight in this blog. Fear is one of the main factors that cripple us from letting go. As you say, letting go is painful but we just have to do it.
Interesting article. Letting go is part of life but sometimes is difficult to accept.
The art of letting go is a hard one to master but a very liberating one. You blog post helps us move a step closer into that direction. Thanks for sharing 😊
I agree, if we keep it until it become habit. It’s diffcut to let it go. Great tips, thank you for sharing!
You’re so multitalented. From poems to posts like these, truly amazing. This has been a big topic in my life in the recent years and very much so in the last week or so. As I moved from abroad to spend some time with the family. I had to let go of people and the ones that I really connected with I am sure will stay around for as long as they will. But letting go is a big part of life and something we all have to learn to deal with.
This was very thoughtful and interesting to read; I think (for me) it depends on what the situation/issue is but generally I am fairly good at letting go (but it usually comes after reflection and work on this). I definitely see letting go as an important part of growth and/or healing!
Letting go is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it’s the best thing I’ve ever done also. This is a great post about letting go x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
For me Eri, discerning the difference between letting go and quitting goaded me to let go more seamlessly. I am slowly learning that surrender yields genuine power because you flow effortlessly downstream while most struggle and fight to stumble upstream.
Ryan
This is a really great and detailed post about one of the most toughest decision everyone will have to take at some point. Loved reading this <3
Walking away and letting go use to be so hard to do (with people and situations), five/ten years ago, but it seems like now it so much easier as I get older. That might be because I don’t want to hold on to these toxic and shitty people and events but that is only my guess. Once I cut two of my cousins out of my life years ago while it was still hard to do, it started getting easier, like all I needed was practice doing it possibility.
I agree, years ago I thought letting go would be the same as losing, and I put too much time in not to be a winner, but now I feel like the winner by not engaging in these people and situations that are made to bring others down to their level, tbh.
Looking back I think a lot of us in general were taught to be fighters, and letting go and walking away at first feels like quitting when it’s not the same at all. We want to say, it’s not that bad or that putting that emotional investment in is worth it, when the truth is all it does is kills us. When our feelings are important and value, and we need to look at them that way. I think that is why I stopped valuing people who treat me bad, I feel bad and gross being around them, or they are just horrible liars tbh.
Letting go is never easy, but it’s always filling in a way that holding isn’t valuable.
Amazingly well said… insightful!
Hi Eri, checking in my friend as I have not seen you in a while. Hope all is going awesome for you.