What the hell am I talking about when I say death motivation and is there actually such a thing?
Last week a person I knew died. He was a young man, not ill, and neither did he die in an accident. He had a perfectly normal and ordinary day. Went to his job, played with his kids, went for a walk, had diner, and went to bed to be prepared for the next day.
But he never woke up. His family found him dead the next morning in his bed. This young man had dreams about his life. He was making plans for the Christmas vacation, for the summer, and so on.
My Near-Death Experience
Some years ago I had a bad accident and I had a near-death experience. I was 17 and I was getting prepared to take my exams and enter university. I was studying hard and nothing could stop me. At least this is what I had in mind.
And then boom! One day I opened up my eyes and I was lying on a bed at the hospital with tubes and wires all over my body. I had no idea where I was. I just could not move or talk and I had a white sheet covering me.
Then something happened. I returned back to the dark of my sleep, heard noises of people gathering around me. I felt like I was diving inside an endless dark when suddenly the dark turned into light, white, intense light.
While I was in the darkness I was feeling nervous, anxious, frustrated, and alone. When I entered the light I stopped listening to what was happening around me. I felt calm and pleased and it was so, so, good I did not want it to end. Funny thing, I did not know what was happening or why I was where I was but at that moment I somehow knew I was dying.
I don’t care whether you believe it or not. It doesn’t matter. Sometimes even I question this experience of mine. At some point, doctors around me did something and made me return. I remember feeling mad about it, I did not want to return. I don’t know if there was something else or how it would finally be like but that feeling was amazing and unforgettable.
My Experience with Death Motivation
Lying on that hospital bed I was thinking of several bad things, all of them related to my certain death within a little time. One of these thoughts was my funeral. I imagined my family devastated about it. My loving friends crying and feeling bad. I even saw some of those who did not care a lot about me being there just without giving a shit about me.
And you know what? After visualizing my death I decided I did not want to die. At least not at that time. I was only 17 and yes the feeling of dying was amazing but if one thing is for sure in this life this is our death. There were so many things I wanted to live and do until I die. And apart from that, I wouldn’t stand myself if I were the cause of grief to my family and friends, not if I could do something to change it.
That was the moment I decided to use death motivation. To recover from what had happened was a long fight against all odds. It took a long time and a lot of difficulties to overcome but I did it.
‘Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life’
Bertolt Brecht
Relative Read: 5 Reasons Why You Should Be Thankful for Your Difficulties
Death Motivation – A More Official Approach
A few months later a friend of mine bought me a book. It was a book by psychologist Richard Carlson named “Don’t sweat the small stuff….and it’s all small stuff”. There was a chapter in this book titled “Imagine your own funeral”. In this chapter, he claims that this is a great exercise to recognize your true life priorities and understand what is and what is not important in life.
The good thing when exercising this thought is that you are still alive so you still have the time to think over your life and your choices. You also have the time and the opportunity to change whatever you don’t like.
This chapter in Carlson’s book proposes death motivation as a chance to reevaluate our lives and our choices. Thinking about your own death is terrifying and painful but it is also a good idea. This exercise could work as a reminder of who we want to be and what is more important in life.
The thought of your own death could work as a good wake-up call and be the starting point of valuable changes.
“You needn’t die happy when your time comes, but you must die satisfied, for you have lived your life from the beginning to the end.”
Stephen King
Relative Read: Commitment Can Set You Free – 5 Reasons That Prove It
Death Motivation Questions to be Answered.
If you thought of your own death as something that happens today and tomorrow is your funeral.
Are you ready to die?
The life you live is under your terms or the terms of society, your family, and so on?
Do you appreciate everything you have done so far and the people you have in your life?
Is there something you want to change? Something you want to experience? Somewhere you want to go?
Is there something you have created and brought in this world for which you are proud?
Do you live every moment or do you live your life thinking about the past and the future?
Your loved ones might also die at any moment. Have you shown them your love today? Wouldn’t you want them to know that you love them?
What is your purpose in life? Are you here for a reason? What do you want the others to remember you for?
” If you live each day as it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.”
Steve Jobs
Relative Read: Successful People Are Not Perfectionists – No Need To Strive For Perfection
Conclusion
You know, you might really die tomorrow. Feel the urgency of this thought and just get motivated.
“Almost universally, when people look back on their lives while on their deathbed […] they wish they had spent more time with the people and activities they truly loved and less time worrying about aspects of life that, upon deeper examination, really don’t matter at all that much. Imagining yourself at your own funeral allows you to look back at your life while you still have the chance to make some important changes.”
Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff … and It’s All Small Stuff
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Mark Twain
Wow! Your experience sounds so interesting and also a sense of relief that maybe it isn’t so scary! Thank you for sharing this post.
Lauren – bournemouthgirl
Thank tou for reading and commenting Lauren!
I am considering this post and its message deeply and trying to put myself in touch with the words you have written. The way you share what happened to you and your friend who passed away so suddenly is unexpected and jolting, yet I find it is also a little peaceful at the same time. From there, I love the transition to holding onto to life, but not in an angry way. It is more of a steadfast determination and need to continue living and loving life.
Thank you for sharing your insights into the chapter of the book that puts the questions into context and perspective for me; loved reading your story!
Jaya, honestly, it felt strange writing about something like this. I can understand why it won’t be something easily chosen to be read since it evolves a sad issue. I am glad you could enjoy this as a reading. Thank you for your honest feedback <3
What you went though sounds super scary, but also beautiful at the same time. It’s funny because there are so many people who’ve had near death experiences and all talk about the white light, and how incredible it feels! There has to be some truth in it. Thanks for sharing your experience 🙂
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Near death experiences are fascinating to me. I’ve read so many stories like yours where there is light, and comfort, and people do not want to leave. Very motivating, inspiring post. Thanks for sharing.
I was hit by a car when I was 11, and I remember seeing an angel or person above me, I don’t know.
I used to be scared of death but I have come to terms with it. I take care of many people that are dying. We can’t live forever, and death just is a part of life. It still hurts to lose someone, and we grieve.
~Michelle
https://michellescrazybusylife.net
Exactly as you said it Michelle, death is a part of life and something nobody can ever avoid. These experiences are strange and could just be mind games but the feeling afterwards is definitely real. Thank you for reading and sharing your experiences and thoughts about it 🙂
Wow, thank you for sharing your near death experience and putting it into perspective of something beautiful. It makes you realize what to really prioritize
Thank you Rayo! I am glad you found it inspiring 🙂
Wow, what a post. Thank you so much for sharing this. I needed to hear it and I will be writing down some answers to your questions.
I personally believe in near death experiences and I watch a lot of documentaries in it. I am glad your experience made you value your life and live to your full potential.
Thanks for inspiring others to do the same.
This is a great post. Thank you for sharing your experience when you were in hospital too. I’d highly recommend reading We All Know How This Ends if you haven’t already. I’ve just finished it and it’s completely altered my view on death; I’ve never felt more at peace with it. Death motivation makes total sense and in the time I was reading this book, I felt more motivated than ever!
I am glad you liked it Jenny! I am not aware of the book but I will definitely look for it. Thank you for commenting ❤️
I’ve never heard of this type of motivation before. Thank you for sharing this information and your experience of it x
Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂
This is honestly something I’ve never heard of before but you’ve spiked my interest. I’ve had many near death experiences, more than I possibly recall due to trauma. Some of which motivated me to do better, others which worked in the opposite way.
It is good to know you found it interesting. Thank you for reading and commenting!
Wow! It sounds like a frightening experience. Though I have heard similar accounts of the peaceful feeling and initially not wanting to come back. This is great advice – we never truly know when our days is our last and living to the fullest is the best way to embrace the time that we have. Thank you for posting this! I really appreciated reading it.
I sm glad you liked it Laurie. Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂
That is a question I have asked myself before am I ready for death. It’s such an interesting thought. I feel like they’re are times I think about it more then other times. Thank you for sharing your story. Honestly it’s good thought it have and to remember tomorrow is not promised.
Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂
Oh wow, what a story! It sounds like a terrifying experience you had. I am terrified of dying, I can’t even think about it!
Corinne x
Thank you for reading and commenting Corinne!
I’ve never heard of the concept of death motivation before, but it’s definitely interesting. That poor man & his family, I hope they’re doing as well as they can under the circumstances
I am glad you found it interesting. Thank you for stepping by and commenting 🙂
What an interesting read Eri. Reading about your near death experience gave me shivers. It was nice to read that you felt at peace and when the time does eventually come you’re in the knowledge that it will be calming. Your questions at the end left food for thought. I’m happy in general with what I’ve done with my life, but I definitely have so much more I want to do.
Thank you for reading and I am glad you found it interesting. We all have more things to do. I don’t think that this will ever change 🙂
Its great that you could take so much away from your experience. Ive never visualised my funeral before but I can definitely see how it could be beneficial. Really interesting post.
Thank you for reading and commenting Kelly!
When I stopped fearing death, I started living.
I will have no part in what happens to me after I die. I will not be able to complain, nor will I be able to rejoice.
I only have the days between birth and death in which I can make a difference to myself and to others.
I no longer live with the weight of death on my shoulders. It does not scare me. It will happen and I accept it.
I have today, and that’s enough for me to live a life worth living.
I’ll deal with tomorrow IF I’m alive.
Thanks for posting this thought provoking article and for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts and opinions 🙂
M – http://www.ThisHappyHuman.com
I totally loved reading your thoughts about my post. I am glad I gave you the chance to think about it and share your thoughts with us. Thank you for commenting ❤️
I had a similar experience when I was 22 years old — including the light (and another experience which when I tell people they think I’m a bit bonkers). Death motivation is an interesting subject and I appreciate how you’ve explored it here. When I came home from the medical event that had me in hospital a whole shift in perspective kind of hit me really hard and I’m still working through it twenty years later. Thanks for sharing!
It is good to know that someone who read this had also a similar experience. I think that experiencing something like this never goes away. I was questioning whether I should write about death motivation because generally people try to avoid it. I can totally understand why. Anyway, thank you for commenting and sharing your experience!
It is great that you could take away something from your experience.
I myself am terrified of dying and try to avoid the topic. But this was a great post.
I understand your feelings. They are perfectly normal. I am glad thought that even you try to avoid the topic you took time to read this post. Thank you for doing so and for commenting 🙂
This is such a thoughtful post and I can relate to some of the experiences having had a few ‘near misses’ myself.
Thank you for reading and commenting Dorothy 😊
Oh my gosh this is such a powerful and scary post. When it comes to death I’ve always been really scared, but it is so important to live everyday to the max because tomorrow isn’t promised!
Thank you for reading and commenting Amie!
Thank you for this article! It puts a lot into perspective. Now that I’m a mother the discussion comes up a lot and I’m definitely not ready to die. I want to be an old woman who can say she’s fully lived. I want to grow to see my son have a family and accomplish all his dreams.
Thank you Sydney for reading it and for offering your considerations about it!
Wow what an experience you had Eri. That is called heaven. That bright light is heaven and it is here all of the time but almost all of us live from fear through the ego so we see a world of bodies, things, separation and all of the egos mad creations. However, enlightened beings see that bright light that you experienced as you transitioned out of the body into who you really are and who we all really are. I live life to its fullest. I’ve been circling the globe for a decade and everything just keeps expanding for me. I do fear death somewhat but the more I get out of life the less I fear death and the less I even think about dying. If you’re really getting after it you feel like you’ve lived so much life that death doesn’t bother you as much. Excellent post.
Ryan
Well, Ryan I am not sure how it would be like if I reached somewhere after the light and I cannot tell whether it was heaven or not. I think your approach on life is the one I also wish to go for. The more you get out of life the less you fear death is your sentence that says the most to me. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and for sharing your thoughts about it 🙂
Thanks for sharing this, and sorry for your recent loss. I suffered a devastating bereavement at a young age and so I can relate to some of this. It really brought home how fragile life is, and that putting things off or not showing the people you love that you care about them just creates regret. I try to hold on to that feeling of urgency, and although it can be hard sometimes watching others not approach life with the same enthusiasm, hopefully it can inspire others to also try to live a life without regret.
Thank you for reading and sharing your perspective about it. Really appreciate it ❤️
This sounds like such an insane experience – and it left me with a lot to think about. I think we can definitely take life for granted sometimes but your post goes to show that it could end any day and I could definitely do with remembering that sometimes. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us, this was such a thought provoking read.
I am glad you found it interesting. Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂
What a scary but inspiring experience. I’ve had one near death experience and it certainly changed my perspective as a person! Thanks for sharing x
It was definitely both, scary and inspiring. Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂
Thank you for sharing this experience with us. Having a new death experience is no easy feat. I have never heard of death motivation and so it was interesting to learn about.
I am glad you found it interesting. Thank you for commenting 🙂
Ohh wow interesting post. Thanks for sharing your experience. I truly believe ypu as I have heard people having them as well.
Thank you Kay for reading and commenting!