What is self-confidence and what does it mean to lack self-confidence?
Based on the Cambridge dictionary self-confidence is “the belief that you can do things well and that other people respect you”.
The keyword in this sentence is belief. And this belief we have for ourselves is mostly dependent on our previous experiences.
I used to think of myself as a confident person but I might have been wrong in some cases. See, I thought of myself as a low-profile person who does not want to make a big deal. I thought that I was confident enough and never wondered about it.
I used to think that all these people who constantly praise themselves for their accomplishments are arrogant. When someone would praise me for something I had done right I would act as if it was not important. I would be insisting that anyone could have done it.
But truth is that most of the time what I had done was a big deal. In most cases what I had done took lots of hard work to make it happen. Maybe yes, somebody could have done it also but this time it was me who should take the credits for.
The above example is one of many to prove that I was not that self-confident as I thought I was. After researching how a person can identify characteristics that indicate a lack of self-confidence, I created the following list.
How to Identify Whether Your Actions Indicate Lack of Self-confidence.
1. Those who Lack of Self-confidence Care About Other People’s Opinions
If you feel like your actions and decisions should be silently or loudly approved by society, your family, other people around you this is definitely an indicator that you do lack self-confidence. A person who is confident and believes in himself knows that he does not need approval from anyone else but himself.
2. Those who Lack of Self-confidence Avoid Risks and Have Fear of Failure
People with low self-confidence are not easily willing to leave their comfort zone. They would even put up with unhealthy and abusive situations because they are afraid of taking the risk to get out of them.
People with low confidence would not easily try something new or take a chance because they are too much afraid of the possibility of failure. On the other hand, self-confident people know that even if failure is always a chance it is not something that will stop them from trying anyway.
3. Those who Lack of Self-confidence Do not Allow Themselves to Make Mistakes
Although you might think that this is a characteristic of a perfectionist truth is that people who lack self-confidence also do this. Self-confident people allow themselves to make mistakes, take responsibility for them, and use them as lessons.
People with low self-confidence feel like they should have done everything right. They try to hide the problem and hope that nobody will understand that they are responsible for it.
4. Those who Lack of Self-confidence Constantly Remind Others about Their Virtues or Accomplishments
A person who is confident enough is aware of his value and what he has accomplished. Does not feel the need to say it to others and expects their confirmation of his saying. A self-confident person knows that his value will be appreciated and waits for others to express it.
5. Those who Lack of Self-confidence Do Not Accept Compliments Even When They Are Worthy of Them
A person with low self-confidence does not even acknowledge his own value. This is why compliments make him feel uncomfortable. It comes more natural to say that what he did was not that important or that the other person is wrong than just accepting it with a simple thank you.
“I finally made up my mind I wanted to be an actress and I was not going to let my lack of confidence ruin my chances”Merilyn Monroe
Impacts of Lack of Self-confidence
Lack of self-confidence does not allow us to enjoy our accomplishments, to feel good inside our body, to set ourselves free. We feel that there is no point in trying because we are sure we will fail. And because we are sure of that we simply take no action at all towards what we want.
Self-confidence is our belief about how good we are. This does not mean that it is something measurable or accurate. If we think low of ourselves that doesn’t mean that our value is low. But thinking low of ourselves limits our perspectives, our choices, and generally impacts our lives in the worst possible way.
How to Leave Lack of Self-confidence Behind
1. Accept Yourself
You might not be super intelligent, good-looking, funny, or whatever you may think of as good quality, but you are you and you are all you have. Be honest and kind with yourself.
Accept every aspect of yourself, even those you try to hide away from others. Especially those aspects of yourself are the ones that make you unique. Maybe not everyone will like them but those who will are those who will like you for your true self, not the one you pretend to be.
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
2. Get Physically Active
You don’t need to start exercising in order to lose weight or to improve your health. Of course, these are two of the main advantages of physical activity but there have also been researches that prove that making exercise a habit can help you improve your confidence.
3. Get out of your Comfort Zone
It doesn’t necessarily have to be something huge all at once. It could be something really simple like trying to talk to a stranger if you are too shy or taste a new food if you don’t like changes. Stepping a little bit out of your comfort zone each day can help you build self-confidence.
4. Start Acknowledging your Accomplishments and Wins
There is a thing called “impostor syndrome” which according to scientists is what sometimes takes control and makes us feel like frauds like we don’t deserve to belong or take credit for our accomplishments. Unfortunately, the human brain has a tendency to focus mainly in times of failure rather than in times of success. Making effort to acknowledge our accomplishments and wins, celebrate them, or even keep a record of them can help us fight this syndrome and build self-confidence.
5. Fix your Posture
Research has shown that sitting up straight in your chair isn’t just good for your posture but also gives you more confidence in your own thoughts. This is such a simple tip that has been proved that matters in order to build self-confidence.
Sometimes lack of self-confidence might be hidden and hard to realize. However, the signs are there for those willing to look for them. To build self-confidence means you allow yourself to open up to new possibilities, in a new and healthier version of your true self.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”Lao Tzu
If you liked this you might also like “Successful People Are Not Perfectionists – No Need To Strive For Perfection” or “Why All People So Persistently Try to Fit In?“