How Anger Affects Your Life and How to Deal With it

How often do you find yourself getting angry about something? Is it just now and then or is it more like a constant status? The reason behind your anger is always justified or you think it is?

What is Anger?

Anger is a normal and in fact healthy human emotion. As an emotion anger exists to let us be aware of a threatening, an unjust or an upsetting situation. Anger should not be considered as either negative or positive emotion.

Getting angry when someone mistreats you or when something unjust takes place in front of your eyes is normal and healthy.

However, it is the frequency we experience anger, along with the way each one of us uses to express this anger that could turn it into something negative and harmful for ourselves or others.

angry man yelling while hitting his fist on table

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

There is this common belief that anger should always be expressed. Some people think that it is their right to express anger in any way they like because in their mind their anger is justified.

There are people who might believe that expressing anger with shouting, breaking things or even by hitting others shows their power and rage and eventually will inspire respect to others.

The actual opposite is correct, meaning that expressing anger in such ways has a negative outcome for you and others. There is a negative impact on how others feel about you and also on how your judgement is affected.

Identify what is Causing Your Anger

I usually get angry when I understand that someone else does not listen to my opinion, suggestion or point of view and tend to ignore me or not take me seriously. I get angry when there is a long line in front of me in the supermarket or when I am stuck in a traffic jam.

cars stuck in traffic jam in city road

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Sometimes when I am really tired or stressed I might find it really easy to get angry over nothing. I think this stands for most people.

It is really important to identify where the anger comes from because most of the time losing your temper or acting in rage has nothing to do with other people’s behavior and words or with external circumstances. It is our fault that we do not manage to stay cool and keep ourselves under control.

Look For Possible Solutions

Understanding what makes me angry in my case means that I can change my daily routine, choosing another route or different time to avoid traffic jams in peak hours. It could mean that I decide to take advantage and enjoy my time stucked in traffic through listening to some audio book, learning a foreign language or just listening to music and singing along.

When it comes to supermarkets I could choose a supermarket with less people or try to shop online.

When it comes to specific people that make me angry I could choose to take some time to discuss with them in a calm way the impact their reactions have on me. They might also have their issues and use this kind of behavior as a defense mechanism. Well, if this does not work I could choose to share less with them or avoid seeing them that often.

If none of the above are enough I could look for and practice some anger management techniques or seek professional help and advice.

man and woman having a fight, both looking angry

Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels.com

The reason why we should all look for solutions is because anger as an emotion will not be able to fix anything. As a matter of fact feeling angry and expressing it in a bad way usually will only make things worse.  

Is Anger Your Enemy or a Friend?

In case you are witnessing a human or an animal rights violation and you get angry about it, expressing your anger and using it to change the situation in front of you, means that you use your anger to take action for a good reason.

When you are in an abusive relationship and get angry with what you are going through, anger will help you to take action and get out of it. Same stands for any toxic friendship, getting angry with the friend who mistreats you or makes you feel bad about yourself will give you the courage to step out of this friendship.

In all the cases above anger is your friend because it gives you the courage and strength you need to change an unhealthy situation.

woman screaming to express her anger

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

However, when your anger makes your loved ones suffer and feel distress it means that your anger is harmful for your relationships. If you find yourself regretting things that you have said or done while being angry this is also a sign that your anger is working against you. These are cases where your anger is your enemy and you should take some action in order to control it.

Identify Anger Warning Signs

Have you ever noticed your body’s physical reactions when you get angry? I don’t mean when you have already started expressing that anger in some way, but those few moments before you act.

Speaking for myself, when I start getting angry I am feeling an intense pain in my head and I am feeling like my head is burning. I start breathing faster and deeper. Other signs might be a faster heartbeat and clenched fists.

When these signs appear and you are able to identify them, you could do something about it to prevent yourself from words or actions that you might regret later. It is important to be able to understand how you feel each moment because it helps to identify any warning signs.

“Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.”

Leo Buscaglia

Anger Effects

Human Relationships

Anger expression in unhealthy ways could be harmful for every human relationship. It could leave physical and mental scars to the people around us who we love most. It could destroy love relationships, friendships or work relationships.

Physical Health

If anger is something we experience regularly it is possible to give us heart related problems, high blood pressure, weak immune system, diabetes and insomnia.

Mental Health

Feeling anger all the time does not allow people to feel joy in life. Anger could also cause stress, depression and other mental health issues.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Mark Twain

Conclusion

When we come to the point to realize that our anger is a problem for us and the people around us we are not helpless. There are several anger management techniques that could be used to calm the rage, and even if these don’t work, professional help from an expert could be taken.

Truth is that we all have more control over anger than what we might think we have. There are always alternatives in the ways we can express our emotions, without hurting other people’s feelings, damaging things or creating problems to our own physical and mental health.

“The best fighter is never angry.”

Lao Tzu

Helpful links

Additional information about anger as well as anger management techniques and strategies could be found at the following links:

https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-control-anger#1

https://www.verywellmind.com/anger-management-strategies-4178870

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/anger-management.htm

 

76 thoughts on “How Anger Affects Your Life and How to Deal With it

  1. For too long, anger was the one emotion that I expressed readily. It is a slippery slope that is best avoided. Being constantly angry robs your life of too many good things.

      • Since I have been ill I have become more prone to anger. Your post gives some helpful ideas how to get anger under control.

      • Oh Susan I know what you mean. I was ill for a long period of my life and I honestly admire those who could stand me. I was more than just prone to anger. I would get angry out of nothing. It is hard. But it is not an excuse to mistreat others and especially our loved ones. I think only they are with us when we let our worst self come out. I hope you feel better soon and I am glad my post was helpful! Thank you 💕

  2. Hello Eri! I loved this because anger is something I am working on. I have anger issues and it can get crazy at times. I am a very soft, friendly and easy to approach person but when I get angry, all hell lets loose. It’s crazy how easily I switch up. This minute I am calm and happy, something happens and in a matter of seconds I am fuming. I feel like anger can rob of so many joys in life and make us do things we will regret. So it’s best to control how easily we get angry and react to certain situations. Thank you so much for sharing x

    • Hello Ruth! I would say you have a hot temper. My father is exactly like that and I used to have similar reactions as well. I realized young enough that anger is not a good friend of mine and started working on it. I still have work to do but most of the times I manage to control it. Thank you for sharing your view on it!

  3. Interesting post so as to analyse your anger. I get angry mostly when my kids drive me nuts 😂😂 But yes there is possibility to control that and I will be working on it.
    Thanks for this article.

    • I am glad you found it interesting! I understand your saying but kids are always like that and treating them with anger is not the best choice. Hope you find ways to work on it. Thank you for reading and commenting!

  4. This was such an interesting post! I think sometimes I can get angry over little things (like when I’m stressed) but I’m going to work on finding solutions now. Thank you so much for sharing!

  5. I get angry when I am dismissed, ignored, or treated badly without reason. Mine is a flashing temper and, while angry, I often say things I regret later.

    I have learned it is more a more effective way to communicate my point by taking a few breaths and calming down. Thinking about what I say before I say it, even if I am still angry, helps a great deal in reinforcing my words.

    Finally, figuring out what made me angry and why I am angry about it is a great help in being more conscious next time!
    Thanks for sharing some helpful tips. 🙂

    • There are several techniques that could be used for anger management. If we find out what triggers our anger it is always easier to try to find what can calm us down. I am glad you found it helpful. Thank you for commenting ❤️

  6. Thank you for sharing this, it was such an interesting read. I’m usually such a positive person & although I very rarely get angry, you’ve definitely made me think this morning. If I ever get angry, it’s usually from feeling overwhelmed & feeling like I’m juggling too many things at once. Being able to break things down into manageable chunks is so beneficial.

    Claire.X
    http://www.clairemac.co.uk

    • I think we all get angry more or less. Everything has to do with how we express this anger and what is the reason causing it. I am glad you found it interesting and made you think of yourself. Thank you for contributing to this discussion 🙂

  7. Interesting post, relate to a lot of it (irrationally angry about traffic on a daily basis). Anger is so complex, I’m learning to let things go but also recognises at times it does motivate me in my career and other areas, I don’t necessarily blow up but can have a quick temper if I think I’m being wronged x

    • I am glad you found it interesting! When anger is an enemy letting go or trying to find a solution is better. When anger is a friend it can be good motivator. Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂

  8. I feel like recently (or really over the past year or so) I’ve developed a lot of misdirected anger. I find that I am getting angry with myself a lot when I am experiencing stress/anxiety and it comes out in the form of snapping at myself and those around me. Stuff going on in the world weighs heavy sometimes so this was a good reminder to actually deal with it and channel it in a more positive way — thanks!

    • We all get angry much easier and we are stressed with something else and it is hard to control this anger. But there is no reason to hurt people we love because of it. Thank you for sharing your experience with anger Molly!

  9. Thanks for such an informative post. I think anger itself isn’t good or bad, but what we do with it can be. It’s important for us to understand where these feelings come from and how to deal with them in a constructive way.

    • Exactly Melissa! Understanding where our feelings come from is really important in understanding ourselves and creating a better version of it. Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂

  10. Wow this is packed with lots of awesome information – anger is definitely not good or bad by definition but how the situations are handled and how the emotions are processed! Thanks for sharing.

  11. This post came at such a good time. I have definitely been experiencing so much anger in both my personal life and at the state of the world we are living in. But I know how unhealthy it is, and I can feel the effects on my body.

  12. There’s basically two kinds of anger, ther version that can protect you, that can motivate you to take action, and the negative kind that can cause you to lash out, hurt yourself, and hurt other people.

    Often I’ve found anger to be a good motivator to take action over stuff I’ve been avoiding, like the complaint about my mental health trust. The other kind of anger I can do a very good job of suppressing

    • This is great to know that you are able to handle your anger the way that it can benefit you the most! Thank you for reading and participating in the discussion 🙂

  13. This is really interesting! Anger is one of those emotions that I don’t like to admit that I have. But I definitely feel it when I get stressed or anxious and want to be in control.

    • We all get angry, that is for sure. The most important is to learn how to control it and use it in ways that would not hurt ourselves or the people around us. Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂

  14. It is not only the anger we feel, but the anger we see around us. Most of my triggered feelings come from a sense of injustice. But making less of a habit is sometimes a challenge. When it the most control and conscious of its effect I am able to control it and properly express it.

  15. Great post. Anger can either make or break things but most of the time it is used negatively and it impacts those around us negatively as well. I have learnt to work on my emotions and recognize how I feel most times. Sometimes I get angry and I lash out immediately, other times I just take time out, drink water and assess the situation

    • Understanding our emotions and why we feel what we feel is really important! It is good to know you have found your ways in dealing with anger. Thank you for sharing your point of view on this post!

  16. Very good post! It’s so interesting that you say about how anger affects physical health. I remember when I was 15 my dad was getting more and more angrier and then he had a massive heart attack. The doctor told him afterwards that flying off the handle in anger is one common occurrence before a heart attack!

    • I am so sorry to read about you father’s heart attack! Anger when left uncontrolled can cause so many problems to ourselves and others. I remember growing up in a family with lots of anger and loud voices and I know it causes me so much psychological pressure. I am glad you liked it! Thank you so much ❤️

  17. I have known people who carry around anger for years. It starts to reflect in their personality and negetively affect the relationships they have with people. This was a really great blog post. Hope it reaches to those who need help with dealing with anger.

  18. When I was younger I used to get angry more often. Now that I am older and the less I care the happier I am. Anger can really affect your life and I do get angry at things at times but I have learned to let it go and move on.

  19. Wonderful post. I really like how you came up with a solution to combat anger before it arises. It’s important to understand where our anger comes from and address it in healthy ways. Thanks for sharing!

  20. I definitely know some people who need this post. For me personally, anger is always associated with sadness or frustration, so it’s easy for me to point out when I’m upset. Thanks for sharing!

  21. This is a very good post about anger. You made very important points. It is necessary to recognize when you can say and do things in anger you may regret. Thank you for sharing this post.

    Pastor Natalie
    Letstakeamoment.com

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