Stop Avoiding Your Negative Thoughts – Learn How To Handle Them

Are you one of those who often start thinking of the worst case scenario for every single thing? Do you sometimes think that others believe the worst about you? You think that everything is either black or white and there is nothing in between? Do you let small things bother you and think about them for hours, days or longer?

Well, if your answer was yes to some of the above questions then you have negative thoughts.

I know what you might say. Who is this person who doesn’t have any negative thoughts?

The answer is simple. Nobody.

We all have negative thoughts and that is absolutely normal.

The thing is that thoughts are just thoughts and nothing more than that.

Scientists and researchers would oppose this opinion since it has been proved that thoughts interfere with the way our brain works and cause us bad feelings and emotions. Yes, thoughts can be the reason behind lots of mental and physical problems in the end. I do not disagree with that. I even admit it as a fact.

woman on the floor embracing her knees due to negative thoughts
Photo by kira schwarz on

Thoughts do live in our head and the bad thing is that sometimes we all spend more time living inside our heads than in real life.

Sometimes thoughts are just like feelings. They come and go and they may mean something or may mean nothing at all.

I don’t know about you but for me there are those days that I wake up in a really bad mood and I just don’t have the courage to have any positive thoughts. I don’t feel like lying to myself that this day is going to be a great day. I am in my blues but I know that this is just a day and not my life. I just accept the fact that these days exist and I watch my thoughts. Yes, even the negative ones.

Below are some of the things that I choose to do to cope with negative thoughts and may be helpful to you also. I am not a professional, so these are just my suggestions as a person who deals with negative thinking from time to time. In case your negative thoughts are persistent you should consider asking for professional help.

How to Handle Your Negative Thoughts

1. Accept the Thought

Do not try to avoid or push back your negative thought. Try to understand it and accept the feelings that this thought causes to you. Give this thought some time to stay with you and embrace the feelings that are caused by it. Even if it makes you feel sad or angry, feel the sadness or the anger for some time and let it go away. It is just a thought, there is no reason to stay with you forever.

2. Be Honest with Yourself

Do not try to force yourself to turn a negative thought into a positive one. Your mind is smart enough to realize that you are trying to play with it.

If it is one of those days that you feel like a loser and your thoughts are like “I am a total failure”, “I will never make it in anything” do not say “I am the best” or “Whatever I do is perfect”. It would be more honest to say “I am smart enough and I try my best and that is enough”.

Trying to stop a negative thought and turn it into a completely positive one could even have the worst results. In some cases people who try to push anxious and negative thoughts down only manage to build them stronger until they all explode or come rushing out at once.

3. Share your Thoughts

If you feel like a negative thought returns again and again try to share it with someone close to you. When we talk about something that lives in our head we have to let it come out in words. Even translating our thoughts into words and hearing them provides us with another perspective of them. Not to mention that someone close will also offer us his / her perspective.

4. Be Kind with Yourself

During the days you feel bad and your mind is full with negative thoughts try to be kind with yourself. Make yourself a priority, try to work less hours or less hard than usual. Choose to spend the rest of your day doing things that make you happy like playing with your children or watching a movie that makes you laugh. You name it!

woman and daughter playing and laughing
Photo by Katie E on

5. Take Care of Yourself

This includes your physical and mental health. Watch your diet. Junk food is ok once in a while but making it a habit is not. Make sure you have enough sleep and find a way to work out that you actually enjoy. A healthy body makes us feel good and positive about ourselves, contributing to a better mental health.

6. Connect with the Right People

Make your small community of people the community you want to be a part of. Get rid of people who put you down or make you feel miserable. You don’t need toxic people. Keep your loved ones close, enroll in activities that offer you joy, join the team you always wanted to. Enjoy your life with those you want to.

group of people gathered around, a small community of multiethnic people
Photo by Matheus Bertelli on


Negative thoughts are normal. We all have them and there is no reason to be afraid of them or to try to prevent them. We cannot stop negative thoughts from coming or choose not to have them, but we can change the way we deal with them and what else we choose to think of. After all negative thoughts are just thoughts, we don’t have to believe them.

I don’t think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains“.

Anne Frank

How about you?

How do you feel about your negative thoughts?

How do you choose to deal with them?

49 thoughts on “Stop Avoiding Your Negative Thoughts – Learn How To Handle Them

  1. I rarely have negative thoughts but when I do I usually just remind to myself it’s just a thought, Just a silly thought, nothing to worry about. Works with me but it took me years to master it

  2. Accepting the thought is how everything changes Eritz. Face the thought and feeling. Hug the energies. From there, one dissolves the lower energies to reveal the higher, positive energies we all are. Super advice here.


    • Negative thoughts are hard to ignore but we shouldn’t let them torture us. One way or another we better find a way to handle them. Thank you Jaime for sharing your thoughts on my post 🙂

  3. Really liked your post on negative thoughts, Sometimes, negative thoughts get the best of me and such a reminder that it’s only a silly thought that can be relieving. Thanks for the ideas!

    Deepti Gupta | Delightful Parenting

    • I am happy you liked it! I am glad I offered you some ideas that you may found helpful 🙂 thank you for reading my post and taking time to comment!

  4. Thanks for this post. I’m trying to not let the negative thoughts take over, as they have done for years! It’s not that I won’t have them, just how to manage them so they don’t get out of control. The tips are great 🙂

    • We all had, have and will always have negative thoughts. As you said the bet is that we manage to control them without letting them to take over. Glad you liked my tips. Thank you for reading and commenting 🙂

  5. Great suggestions! I’ve been struggling with negative thoughts recently, and I’ve definitely found accepting them helps. I’m sure sharing them with the right people will help too, although I’m not entirely there yet. Thanks for sharing!

  6. I agree with you, don’t avoid it but with taking care of yourself and being kind.. However, Don’t let them take over and ruin your life. For me, I try to face it and try to deal with it and not let it affect me.

    • Each one of us is different so something works better to one than it does to another one. The main thing is to be able to deal with the negative thoughts the way that best suits you. Thank you for reading my post and I am glad you you liked it!

  7. This is an interesting take on handling negative thoughts! I like the idea of embracing your thoughts, and it can definitely help to understand where they are coming from. Ignoring them might be a short term solution, but that’s it x

    • Exactly, ignoring something may feel good for few minutes, hours or days but ignoring something is never the solution. Thank you for reading my post and commenting! 🙂

  8. I go through phases of negative thoughts, especially when my depression sets in. Your article is beneficial, and in particular, the be kind to yourself. This is really important as we can put so much effort into the negative that the positive drifts away, but being kind allows the positive to seep back through.

  9. Great post! I agree, we can’t avoid our negative thoughts. I love your advice about being honest with yourself! I’m a big fan of affirmations, but when you are plagued by negative thoughts it’s more effective to stick with affirmations that are a little more believable. Thanks for sharing!

  10. Loved it, every single part of this blog really got me especially i have the problem of ignoring the situation but not talking or solving it makes me blow up, thank you for sharing!

  11. For the most part, I’m a positive thoughts person, but of course we all have negative thoughts and I don’t think it does us any good to ignore them. By ignoring, you’re leaving the door open for these thoughts to come back so i prefer to deal with them as soon as they appear. Great article!

  12. So important to be kind to ourselves! I tend to distract myself but I’m sure it’s much more useful to face them head on – thank you for the tips x

  13. For me, I accept my negative thoughts and my intrusive thoughts for what they are, but I don’t feed them. I carry on like the thoughts aren’t there, because engaging with them just causes a never ending feedback loop

  14. Really nice post and I love your points about dealing with negative thoughts. To be honest, I sort of try to differentiate between what I’m feeling and what my real perspective is. If I’m upset, I might be like, I’m an idiot but then I try to “get real” and tell myself, “Yes, you’re an idiot but you’re capable and you deserve good things.” I also use humour to turn negative thoughts into “positive” thoughts lol

    • Humour is helpful to reliese the tense we feel when we have negative thoughts so I think it is a great idea. Thank you for reading it and sharing your thoughts about it!

  15. YES TO THIS!
    I always say that it’s very important to learn how to sit in your emotions, feel them and understand them so you better understand your triggers so you learn how to deal with them. You can’t always sweep your feelings under the rug or have a BAD relationship with negative feelings. It’s normal and human to feel them, allow them to be present when they are and understand why they’re there so you know how to handle it.
    Great post!

    Nons Mshengu

    • Exactly, when you are honest with yourself you can never sweep your feelings under the rug. Ignoring something will not make it disappear. Thank you for reading it and contributing to the conversation:)

    • Negative thoughts if we let them to insist do that, consume our energy and we can take no action. Thank you Corinne for reading and commenting 🙂

  16. It’s hard to stop negative thoughts. I feel bad about many of the mistakes and failures of my past. I tell myself that it’s okay their is nothing I can do but learn and be better. Great post

    • Negative thoughts are never easy to handle. It is a process that takes time and above all needs to love yourself and let him understand that negative thoughts are also part him, accept them and let them go. Growing older is a constant process of learning more, about life, ourselves, the world, everything. Thank you for reading my post and taking time to comment 🙂

  17. Everyone gets negative thoughts . I do as well. I don’t try to avoid my negative thoughts because I believe in facing them and not running away from them. Whenever I get negative thoughts, I remind myself that those negative thoughts aren’t true and I use positive affirmations as well. Positive affirmations are amazing and they do wonders but they work even more when they are used well. Thank you so much for sharing.

  18. Hi Eri,

    You are correct – there is nothing to be gained by trying to avoid negative thoughts. They need to be acknowledged and addressed. Thank you for your thoughtful post 🙂

  19. I liked your discussion on accepting and sitting with negative thoughts. I have had clients tell me that they’re afraid to do this because they worry that the thoughts have been around so long they won’t ever dissipate, or that they don’t know what kind of thoughts would surface if they let go of the current negative ones. Have you experienced either of these situations, and if so, how have you dealt with them?

    • I am not a professional, my negative thoughts are not staying for too long or I have trained them not to stay long. What you describe is like a fear to let go of something that is bad because it is something that they already know. I think this stands for everything in life. We all tend to rather keep something bad for us in our lives because we are familiar with it. The new one once we let the old one go might be also bad or even worst. But what if it is great? What if it is something we really always wanted? In these cases I don’t think bit is just some negative thoughts that it is the overall attitude towards life and changes in general.
      Hope I helped but as I said I am not a professional. Thank you for reading my post and asking me such an interesting question 🙂

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