What is Happiness and Will I Ever Reach it?

How pleased are you out of your life? If you were asked, would you answer “very pleased” without even hesitating a bit?

Honestly, I spent many years of my life without even being able to understand that I was not pleased with what my life was like. I guess the everyday routine took me with her and I did not even have the time to stand still and think.

The “Dream Job”

A woman presenting her work on a laptop screen
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For the last thirteen years I had been working as a business consultant. It started as a nine to five job with great career and financial prospects. I never felt really enthusiastic about it but, hey, the money was good and clients appreciated my work, so it felt like a reward.

Friends and family were happy and proud of me and my career in this “dream job” as it might seem like in their eyes. Finally, I could rent a bigger apartment in a nice neighborhood, I had enough money to travel and no need to have second thoughts if I liked something and wanted to buy it.

I guess you would say that that was great. And yes, I definitely liked the fact that I finally could live without thinking of my finances every single moment. That I finally could live in an apartment that I like, that I could travel and shop whenever I wanted to.

But I just couldn’t do it whenever I wanted to.

When the “Dream Job” Turned Into Nightmare…

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The nine to five job schedule very soon became nine to whatever time the job is done. Considering the fact that most of the clients I was working for were situated at least one hour driving away from home, that also extended my working schedule.

And the deadlines, oh the deadlines…. So much stress and pressure because we had to stick with the project plan and deliver on time.

So, I had a job that offered me financial security and the prospect of a better life.

But, I was renting a great apartment which I was actually using as a hotel since I would use it only to have a shower and get some sleep. I could travel, yes, and I would travel every time I had the chance. And this is something that I loved and I am grateful about.

The thing is that I constantly had the need to travel because I needed it as an escape out of the life I was living. I would shop and spend money not because I needed the staff I was buying but because I could.

And then bam!

The Coronavirus

coronavirus
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Coronavirus arrived and changed everything worldwide.

To all of us it was and in some aspects still is a shock. But the greatest change it brought to my life was that I stopped traveling and started working from home. Everything related to work was set up in just a few hours so the transition was quite fast and sudden.

There was no need to drive to the other side of the city, not even need to take off my pajamas in order to work. I found it as a great chance to finally enjoy my apartment and get some “me” time.

The isolation that came along with the lock down to me was not that horrible as it was to others. I have always enjoyed solitude and having such a busy schedule as I used to have did not offer me enough time to recharge myself.

Time to Stand Still and Look Inside

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It was at that time that I found the time to stand still and think about myself, my life, my needs and feelings.

Another thing that I did not mention, for which I am really grateful since my job financially allowed me to take it, was a Master’s Degree in Creative Writing. I had really studied hard due to lack of time but by the time Coronavirus arrived I had already finished all my lessons and there was only my master thesis that I had to submit.

If it wasn’t for Coronavirus and the lockdown work from home status I don’t know if I could have ever made it on time and submitted my master thesis. While spending my time equally to work and studying during the first lockdown I realized even more how fulfilling writing is to me.

Time to Blog

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Even after the lock down had finished I never got back to the office, I kept on working from home. It was at some point during last March that I felt like I needed to communicate my writing with others and thought of starting a blog.

I had tried it again in the past but quit within days. I never stick to it long enough to understand whether I liked it or not. This time was different. As I said above I needed to communicate my writing. When you understand that you do something because not only you just like it but also because you feel that you need it, you do it under totally different terms.

Of course the job did not become less demanding, tiring or stressful just because I was working from home. But something had changed. Even if I felt exhausted I would still sit on my laptop for a few hours after work trying to find out how blogging works, write a post etc.

It was something new. It was engaging and it was related to what I love most, writing. I would spend hours trying to figure out things but the amazing thing was that I would not feel like getting tired.

I read about bloggers that manage to make a great income out of their posts and I honestly admire them. I hope I will be as good as them one day!

I know I know…. I have a million things to learn and should work really hard to get there.

The Decision For Change

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My job went crazy the last few months. There was a point that I felt like I was ready to collapse due to stress and too much pressure, so I decided to resign. After all, it was not like I ever really liked the life I was living the last 13 years of my life. I am grateful for all the things it allowed me to do and have but no, I cannot recall even a single moment that I felt happy in it.

I am also grateful about some people I had the chance to meet but I strongly believe that you never really lose those you care about. So I am not sad about it. I will be in touch with them. Not every day in touch because I have to but now and then in touch because I want to.

I don’t know what I will be doing from now on. I will definitely be blogging more because every day I realize how much I like it. Apart from that, whatever happens I decided that I will not let myself be carried away again by any routine. I will be sitting still and listen to myself and its needs.

Time is precious to be wasted in things that don’t offer us any joy at all.

“Happiness is a constant work-in-progress, because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress – the solutions to today’s problems will lay the foundation for tomorrow’s problems, and so on. True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.”

Mark Manson

44 thoughts on “What is Happiness and Will I Ever Reach it?

  1. It’s a great blogpost. Happiness actually depends on us. We will be much happier if we do what we love, not what others want. A person who does what he loves means he has never worked in his life…

  2. It really sucks to work outside of your work hours, whatever the reason. I’ve decided to do as the French do, and treat work related stuff outside of my work hours as being illegal, and thus, I don’t do anything outside my hours anymore, not unless it’s 100% my choice to do so. Work/life balance is important

    • If you are able to do so it is great! Work /life balance is definitely important.
      Thank you for reading and taking time to comment 🙂

  3. A great post, happing is so important. Although the pandemic was horrible at times, lockdown gave us a lot to think about and I know I definitely found myself more and reflected on what I wanted from life instead of what everyone else wanted. So nice to hear that you’ll be doing more blogging like you enjoy.

    • I am glad you also took advantage of the lockdown and found yourself! Even bad things have positive aspects. Thank you for commenting 🙂

  4. Thank you so much for sharing! It is so important to prioritise happiness, even when it’s scary. Well done on taking the brave step and good luck on your new adventure. Fortune favours the bold xoxo

  5. For many reasons and situations, I’d have to say that I’ve not been happy with my life for a while now. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy many things and have elements that bring meaning and purpose, but I do have this sense of being aware that I am still figuring it all out. I’ve come to realize though when something does not/has not brought value to my life then I have to look for ways to change it or let go of it. Thank you for this very thought-provoking post!

    • Hope all the changes you do bring something good in your life! Thank you for sharing your opinion and thoughts on this. Really appreciate it 🙂

  6. Congratulations on following your happiness! I hope you have much success with your blogging, and you continue to enjoy doing it. I look forward to seeing what you write.

  7. Change can be beneficial as it makes you take stock and rethink your direction in life. Glad it’s working out for you.

  8. I really enjoyed reading this post. I think happiness is mainly down to the individual. What gives one person happiness, might not work for the next person. Getting a good work/home life balance is a great start.

    • Definitely! Each one is different and has different wants and needs. Balance is a key point for every aspect of life. Thank you for reading and sharing your opinion on it 🙂

  9. ” last 13 years of my life. I am grateful for all the things it allowed me to do and have but no, I cannot recall even a single moment that I felt happy in it.”….. this hit!!!!
    I actually relate to this post too. Your experience. And I already feel so overwhelmed.
    Wish you luck xx
    Isa A. Blogger

  10. I agree, some people went crazy when lockdown started. Well, for me, it was fine but I would rather go outside. So I’m happy things opening and things getting back to normal!

  11. This was a good read! Happy to know that you are following your heart now because this is tough sometimes. Hope everything goes well with you and your blog in future : )

  12. I love how heartfelt this is. So true… For the past years, so many things are going wrong and the reasons for hating life grow. But this is because we’re in pain and struggling. We forget to see the other side of life. I believe, (and thankfully), I still find myself happy despite everything that’s going on. I choose to remain optimistic and it’s been doing well for me. I loved reading this!

    http://www.lifebeginsattwenty.com

  13. Wow! This is such a great, personal post. It’s great to read about your journey and your plunge into living more intentionally. Am I happy? No, but that’s just because of some external forces but I’m happy in myself. I do what I love even though it puts me in financial rollercoaster and that makes me happy in myself. In many ways, I have achieved happiness x

    • This is great for you! I am happy about it. Things we cannot control are always there. The important is to feel happy in yourself as you already do. Thank you for sharing your opinion about this post. Really appreciate it 🙂

  14. You and I share quite the experience, Eri, with work and all. I have been doing my job but it’s far from being the dream everyone talks about. Yet I know we both can get onto bigger and better things, one day!

    • It is good to know that someone else can feel the way I used to. Better things are ahead us! it is in our hand to make them happen! thank you for reading and commenting!

  15. This is a really great blogpost! We can only find happiness ourselves and we have to do things that make us happy. I’m sure you’ll be onto bigger and better things soon Xo

    Elle – ellegracedeveson.com

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